Perks and A Lot More

date: October 3, 2012

Tonight I'm inspired. A lot of things had happened in the past couple of months, some good, some bad. Some make me want to regret them, but I know I shouldn't. I chose to experience those things and somehow it helped me realize a lot of things about life, about myself. It's funny how a simple movie can make my life change.

The song that's currently playing at this very moment suits me perfectly (Stupid In Love). Yes, I had been stupid in love and I'm not proud of it. Well, I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who is stupid. A lot of people are or somehow did stupid things for love. But that doesn't mean we are really stupid. I had been stupid in love or at least that's what I think, felt. Still, I don't want to consider myself stupid since I now know what my worth is. I may be dumb but I'm no longer stupid - a line from Rihanna's song. I just hope somehow this person will also see my worth, his worth and come to realize what he really wants in life. I'm just glad I learned early and avoid any more damage if we continue this crazy relationship.

Starting today,  I'll think of my welfare first and not of other people. It's time to enjoy my life the way I want it. I won't allow people to push me and take advantage of me. I'm not the kindest person but sometimes we need to teach other people a lesson they'll never forget. It's not to humiliate or hurt them, but more of to help them. Although most of people won't see that as many are very close minded. Today, I need to get rid of the excess baggage I've been carrying. I'm not sure how long I can stand this but I'll try my very best.

Sometimes we need to be a bitch to send people a message that they cannot just mess around with us, even if that means hurting their feelings. It's because it is the reality. You can never say you lived your life without experiencing pain or loss. It's all part of growing up, of learning about ourselves more deeply. Most of us are so afraid of hurting people, of what others might think or say about us. If we choose to live that way, we can never be truly happy. We'll all be in the dark forever.